Saturday, June 18, 2016

Postpartum Depression

I just want to say that I apologize for being so scarce on the blog.  I'm doing my best to keep up with at least a post a week.  I worked hard when I first started this blog to get some following, and I know I've pretty much shot that all to hell by having kids, but I can't bring myself to just shut it down.  When I get back to writing, I don't want to have to start completely from scratch.  Plus I still love showing some awesome authors some love.

I also want to apologize to some people.  I apologize to all those to whom I owe reviews (the list of names is long at this point).  I apologize to Tara Lain and Dianne Duvall for not always being able to keep up with what's going on with them and not always being able to fulfill my street team responsibilities.

I'm struggling.  At first, I thought it could just be attributed to normal adjustments related to having two small children,'s not.  I'm pretty sure I have Postpartum Depression and even reading about how it's not my fault, I'm not alone, and how important it is to reach out for help, I've found it exceedingly difficult to make an appointment.  I'm turning inward and it only further isolates myself and makes it all worse, but I haven't been able to figure out how to make myself fix it.  

So yeah, I'm struggling and honestly losing the battle.  I feel like I'm drowning with no lifeguard on duty.  I try so hard to be "fine" on the outside, but inside I'm screaming and crying and even dying a little.  I'm hoping to take some steps, but it's just not something that gets better over night.

So yeah, I'm hoping to step up and write better reviews and more of them.  I'm hoping to start writing again.  I'm hoping to catch up with some of my author friends.  But that's going to take time, and my time right now is devoted to my family and doing everything I can to make sure I can care for them without completely losing myself.

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